What is Love Bombing?
Love bombing is when you send a mass amount of positive messages to another person to increase his or her feelings towards you. This works because humans tend to be attracted to positivity. We’re naturally drawn to things we feel comfortable with (like friends). So once you start sending out lots of positive messages, others will automatically become more open to receiving them.
There are two forms of love bombing: self-love bombing and friend-love bombing. Self-love bombing happens when you bombard yourself with positive thoughts and words. Friend-love bombing is when you surround yourself with people who support you and encourage you.
Either form of love bombing is effective, but it takes patience.
Self-love bombing can be done through journaling, talking to yourself, or repeating affirmations. For example, say this affirmation out loud every night before bed: “Today I am healthy”
Friend-love bombing starts with finding someone you admire, who inspires you, and who encourages you. Then you reach out to him or her and let them know. After a while, he or she will start responding similarly to you. Soon enough, you guys will feel great together.
According to Dr. Amy Alkon, a licensed psychotherapist, love bombing is “characterized by excessive attention, admiration and affection with the goal of making the recipient feel dependent and obliged to that person.”
Alkon says that the manipulation behind love bombing typically involves one person trying to gain control over another. And while the technique isn’t always used maliciously, she warns that it can cause extreme emotional damage.
Here are some signs that the person you’re involved with might be using love bombing against you:
1. They constantly tell you how much they care about you.
2. They talk about themselves incessantly.
3. They shower you with gifts and praise.
4. They try to isolate you from your family and friends.
5. They make you feel like you have no other options.
6. They keep you in an unhealthy relationship for too long.
7. You find yourself feeling guilty if you don’t spend time with them.
8. They get jealous easily.
9. They criticize you without reason.
10. They pressure you into doing things you don’t want to do.
11. They use guilt as a way to manipulate you.
12. They act like everything you do is wrong.
13. They call you names.
14. They threaten to end their relationship if you leave.
15. They lie to you.
16. They ignore your needs.
17. They expect you to meet all of their needs.
18. They demand total loyalty.
19. They treat you differently than they would anyone else.
20. They refuse to listen to what you have to say.
Obvious Love Bombing Methods
The most obvious one is the gift giving. A lot of people think that if they buy something expensive for their significant other, it means they care about them. But that doesn’t mean that you should give away money without thinking about how much it costs. If you don’t know where your partner spends their money, ask them. If they won’t answer, it could be a clue that they aren’t ready to commit.
If you notice that your partner is constantly complimenting you, that’s a surefire way to tell if they’re trying to manipulate you. They’ll say things like, “You make me happy,” or “You’re my best friend.” This is flattering, but it’s usually followed up with, “But you’re still single.” Don’t fall for it.
Finally, if your partner expects a quick response whenever they text you, it can indicate that they’re trying too hard to keep you interested in them. You shouldn’t feel obligated to respond within minutes, especially if you’re busy.
Is love bombing dangerous?
Love bombing can be incredibly detrimental, especially if you’re in a long-term relationship, because it’s a form emotional abuse. And it has everything to do, according to Dr. Michelle Bethea, with the law of reciprocation: “If someone gives you something,” she says, “you feel that you owe them some sort of equivalent or better in return.”
So if your partner is giving too much love and attention, you might feel obligated to respond in kind. But what happens if he or she does this repeatedly? You start feeling indebted to him or her, even though there are signs that something isn’t quite right.
This dynamic plays out in relationships where one person is controlling the other—and it can be just as damaging as physical violence.
5 ways that love bombing impacts your life.
1. It makes you feel guilty about wanting space.
When you’re being bombarded with compliments and affection, you may feel compelled to reciprocate. If you don’t, you’ll likely feel guiltier than ever before.
2. It makes you feel unloved.
It’s easy to get caught up in the moment when you first start dating someone new. But if you find yourself falling head over heels for someone who seems to be treating you like a princess, it’s time to take a step back and evaluate whether you really need to be so dependent on another human being.
3. It causes you to lose trust in your own judgment.
We’ve all been there: you meet someone new, and you instantly click. You feel an instant connection, and you want to spend every second together. But after awhile, you realize that you’re not getting anywhere. The more time you spend with this person, the less you seem to enjoy each other’s company.
4. It leads to resentment.
If you’re constantly receiving gifts from your boyfriend or girlfriend, you might begin to resent them. After all, why would they go through all that trouble just to see you smile?
5. It creates unhealthy expectations.
If you’re constantly receiving gifts, you might start expecting that you deserve to receive gifts every day. That’s not realistic, and it can lead to feelings of entitlement.
The good news is that once you recognize these behaviors, you can stop them. So next time you catch yourself saying, “I’m so lucky” or “He/she loves me so much,” remember that it’s not true.
Love Bombing – Obsessive Love Disorder
Love bombing is a manipulative tactic where people use excessive displays of affection to win over your trust. It’s often used to win over a partner’s trust so that they can meet their own goals.
The term originated in the 1970s. In the book “Obsessive Love Disorder,” author Richard M. Schwartz wrote about a man named Michael who had developed obsessive feelings toward his college professor, Dr. Susan. He became obsessed with her and began to bombard her with gifts, letters, phone calls, and even flowers. He wanted to make sure she knew he loved her and felt very strongly about her.
He eventually got what he wanted — Dr. Susan agreed to marry him. But it wasn’t long before he realized how controlling he’d become. He couldn’t stand it anymore and left her.
In the 1980s, psychologists coined the term “love bombing.” They saw it as a form of emotional abuse. People who were victims of love bombing experienced intense feelings of euphoria and happiness. They thought they deserved special treatment because they were in love.
People who are love bombed often feel guilty about rejecting the attention. They also feel guilty about feeling happy without the other person.
Love bombing has many negative effects. It can cause people to feel depressed and anxious. It can also create problems in relationships.
How to Spot Love Bombing
1. Overwhelming displays of affection.
When you first start dating someone, you may feel excited and nervous at the same time. This is normal. But if you notice that you’re spending too much time with one person and neglecting others, it could mean that you’re being love bombed.
2. Constant reassurance.
You know those times when you say something like, “You look really pretty today!” or “I love you!” to someone who looks upset? If you do this frequently, you might be trying to reassure them that everything will be okay.
3. Excessive compliments.
Compliments are great, but if you find yourself giving them out all the time, it could be a sign that you’re being love bombed.
Gifts aren’t always bad. But if you’re constantly receiving gifts and never reciprocating, it could be an indication that you’re being love-bombed.
5. Unreasonable requests.
It’s perfectly acceptable for a couple to have disagreements. But if you ask your significant other to do things that seem such as taking care of your children while you work late, it could be a red flag that you’re being love bomb.
6. Extreme jealousy.
Jealousy is natural. But if you notice yourself becoming jealous of your partner’s friends, family members, or coworkers, it could be a warning sign that you’re being targeted by a love bomber.
Love Bombing and Public Display Of Affection
In case you didn’t know it already, there’s a difference between public displays of affection and love bombing. “Public displays of affection are generally positive,” says Paiva. “A man might kiss his wife, hug his kids, give his girlfriend a peck on the cheek.” Love bombing, however, is “a manipulative tactic used by one person to control another,” he adds.
Love bombers use flattery, compliments, and attention to manipulate others into doing what they want. They’ll often tell you how great you look, how wonderful your hair looks, or how beautiful you smell. And while some people find those types of statements flattering, most don’t. If someone starts saying nice things about you just because they think you’re easy to please, that’s a red flag.
Love Bombing Dumping History
In a recent study, researchers found that people tend to dump their personal histories too soon. In fact, research showed that most people don’t even realize they’re doing it. This is because love bombing involves sharing intimate details about yourself almost immediately.
The goal here is to make you feel special and close to someone without actually being close to them. If there’s something you think is important to tell them, do it now. Don’t wait until you’re sitting across from each other at dinner.
However, dumping your entire life story on someone isn’t always a good idea. There are some things we just shouldn’t reveal to our partners. For example, if you have a criminal record, you might not want to tell your partner everything about what happened to you. Also, if you have a mental health issue, you probably wouldn’t want to spill the beans.
Love Bombers Narcissistic Affects
Love bombing is a manipulative strategy used to make people more emotionally pliable. In my opinion, it is a form of emotional manipulation. This is because it involves forcing someone else to act in ways that are contrary to his or her nature. For example, you might ask someone to go out with you even though he or she does not want to. You might ask him or her to spend money that he or she cannot afford. Or you might ask someone to take care of you when you are sick. In each instance, the person is asked to change his or her behavior in ways that are against his or her nature.Love Bombing Conclusion
If you think you’re being love bombed, it might just mean you’ve been hit with some pretty strong emotions. You don’t want to go down the road of a narcissistic relationship, but you don’t want anyone else to suffer either. So what do you do?
In short, you need to protect yourself. There’s a difference between feeling loved and being love bombed. When you feel like someone is trying to force you into something against your wishes, it’s called love bombing.
The term came about because people thought that the narcissist was using his or her charm to win over the target. In reality, however, it is often used by those who are insecure themselves. They use flattery and attention to try to convince you to agree with them.
If you’re unsure whether you’re being targeted, here are some signs to look out for:
• Someone tries to control your life. This includes controlling where you spend your money, what you eat, and how much time you spend with friends and family.
• You start comparing yourself to others. You see yourself as less than everyone around you and begin to doubt your abilities.
• You become obsessed with finding faults in your partner. You focus on things he or she does wrong rather than focusing on your strengths.
• Your partner becomes jealous of your friendships and activities. He or she may also be critical of your appearance.